Emotion, Magic, Subtext and Wit...Oh My!

Those four things listed above? They're pretty much all missing from SUPERMAN RETURNS.

I know that I am one of the hardest people to please with a new Superman film. All my life I have loved the original films (yes, even Superman 3 I can watch and enjoy. Superman 4, on the other hand...). All my life have been told I look like CHistopher Reeve (not too uncanny of a resemblence, but I do see it myself) or been calld "Clark." I take it as a compliment. And, yes, even now when I watch the first Suprman film, I get teary when Clark is at his "father's" funeral (emotion). I find myself holding my breath at all the amazing effects and wondrous excitement that is happening on screen (magic). I get that there is a whole lot going on with Clark/Superman and finding oneself and finding ones "path" (subtext). And I get to laughing with how wonderfully funny Reeve is as Clark and how sharp Lois Lane is with her zingers (wit).

So, um, where did all of this go in the new film? Apparently, it left when Suprman did...and decided to not come back.

First, I'll say that BRandon Routh is fine: he's strapping, good-looking, and wholesome enough...but he just isn't Superman. Or Clark. He doesn't convey the sense of compassion that Superman should, nor does he really get into the Clark role they way Reeve did; Reeve effectively created two different people in Clark and Superman. Fooling everyone wasn't just a costume change, but one of attitude and being. Routh was always Suprman...he just sometimes wore a dark suit and glasses. Oh, and he simply didn't push how fun both roles can be!

Kate Bosworth was simply, incredibly, hopelessly miscast. Far too young, she just can't evoke the essence of the Lois Lane character. When she should be sarcastic, she comes off as whiny; when she should be in need of help (even Lois needs help sometimes!), she comes off as cocky and indestructible (the airplane scene, anyone?!). The moment I heard it was Kate Bosworth, I knew it was bad news...and I hadn't even seen her in anything at that point. She was just physically wrong. Having seen her in other things, she is a fine actrress, but will never, ever embody what the spirit of the Lane character was, is, or should be.

*If you can, watch the special edition extras of the first Superman movie with Reeve and Kidder. They have an extras section where they show TONS of auditions for Lois. You see that, even though alot of the women are very good and really make Lois seem real, only Kidder brings power, vulnerability, class, and romance to the audition. It shows that even though Kidder might be in the minds as THE Lois Lane, her audition proves it could have ONLY been her. Oh, and watching Stockard Channing (GREASE) audition for Lois is a treat!

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled program: Don't get me started on the Superson. That whole idea was like a failed movie grasping for something interesting...oh wait...

And what the hell happened to The Daily Planet!? One time it was a chaotic, fun, effervescent place bursting with hijinks, hilarity, and real characters...here, we get a watered down, barely goofy or funny Jimmy Olsen and, worst of all, a Perry White who isn't a curmudgeon, who isn't unintentionnaly funny when he delivers a line, and who is barely in the movie!

Then, there is Lex. Lex, Lex, Lex. A once fun character who was so genius and so ridiculous at the same time, that watching him was sheer joy. Funny. Diabolical. Insane. But not too insane. Here, we have Kevin Spacey playing Lex way too straight. It was on the nose. Yes, you want to own the world. Blah, blah, blah, we've heard that. Now show us why we should believe that you can do it...and let us know you can't but hate the fact that you're trying and that you're going to work to bring down Superman. There was simply no color to his role. It was the bad guy you hate. At least let me love to hate him.

At least Parker Posey said some funny things. And she's always interesting.

Sigh.

There is also the matter that the film felt like a bunch of loosely tied together vignettes where someone thought, "wouldn't it be cool if..." Yes, some of it would be, but tell me a story to get me to those moments and, horror of all horrors, make me care. A little. At all. Please! Continuity was missing, logic -- even for a Superhero movie -- was missing (um, Lex, that ugly land mass you've created won't be habitable for about a trillion years, so don't hold your breath waiting for takers). Kryponite kills Superman. End of story. Not sort of kills him one time, not really the next time. Here, they decided that when Superman is down and out, Krypotnite is really bad. But when he's on a mision, well, eh, he can handle it...but then get worse when he's away from it.

There were just so many plot holes here, I can't help but wonder if they were working from pieces of former scripts (there were many!) and thought, let's just throw it all in there because it's neat!

From a script standpoint, I also felt that this film had no emotional resonance. No one to care for and with characters that didn't really seem to care for one another. know, they aid they did, but you can also say "I love you" and really mean "I hate you." Here, their lines and action were surface, meant only to convey information. Get to point B from A. This script isn't any fun. I've read the original script and it's funny, exciting, emotional...it's just a good damn read. I'll read this one, too...maybe what was on the page simply didn't make it to the screen.

I think you can see that I could go on and on and on. I wanted to love this film. I wanted to at least like it alot. It was simply fine. I thought it was very telling that Lois Lane wrote an article on why the world DOESN'T need Superman she wins the Pulitzer. Then, when she realizes she might have been wrong, tries to write why the world DOES need him. But nothing comes out. Okay, one glycerin tear comes out of her eye.

I think that's because, based on this new film, her first article was right. Sort of. We do need Superman. Just not this one.

Sadly, what could have jumpstarted a new, incredible, amazing, I cannot believe Superman is back movie franchise just went up, up, and away.

--"Can you read my mind? Do you know what it is that you do to me? I don't know who you are. Just a friend from another star. Here I am, like a kid out of school. Holding hands with a god. I'm a fool. Will you look at me? Quivering. Like a little girl, shivering. You can see right through me. Can you read my mind? Can you picture the things I'm thinking of? Wondering why you are... all the wonderful things you are. You can fly. You belong in the sky. And I... could belong to each other. If you need a friend... I'm the one to fly to. If you need to be loved... here I am. Read my mind."
SUPERMAN